So, new year, new decade, new me.

I never usually do new year’s resolutions for numerous reasons, one being I don’t feel like I need to change anything, arrogant I know.

Another reason being I feel like I’d fail before I’ve even tried, which takes a nice 180 from arrogance to helplessness.

But this year, for some reason, I wanted to make some changes. I wanted to reduce sugar because I felt addicted to it. I wanted to give up caffeine because I felt reliant on it. And I wanted to give up milk and red meat for my health, the environment and I wanted to get closer to being vegan and those felt like the first two things I could let go of.

So, there are my resolutions and I assume you’ve made some too. It has been just over one week since we brought the New Year in, how are yours going?

Well mine haven’t gone so well.

Its New Year’s Day, I have had five hours sleep because I had to be up at 6am for work at Starbucks. Now I know what you’re thinking, I was tired and surrounded by caffeine and sugar, but I RESISTED! First time in forever that I hadn’t had a sugary coffee but I did it so congratulations to moi!

The problem was when I got home. I was going to make my lunch and I was so tired, I open the cupboard and meatballs! I haven’t had meatballs in so long, I was so happy and I cooked them and then just as I was about to eat them I realised they were red meat. Don’t ask me how it took me until then to realise and then I was like what do I do now and before I knew it I’d already eaten them all and then I was napping.

Then when I woke up, it was time for dinner and what did my Mum make? Roast beef. Like what are the chances, like honestly? And before you know it, I ate all that too.

So that was red meat out the window. Then there was the next day at work and all I could think about was the toffee nut syrup. I caved and had a toffee nut latte. It was still soy and decaf but sugar was my main goal, especially those syrups.

But the third day was more difficult. I resisted all day but then it got to 9pm and I made my own toffee nut latte with cow’s milk and caffeinated coffee. This was the most stupidest idea ever, not because of the sugar, but because of the caffeine could I sleep? No. I didn’t fall asleep until 3am but had to be up at 6am for work.

I blame the lack of sleep, but I had a large toffee nut latte with whip cream and an extra shot of pure caffeinated coffee.

And then the next day I gave up, I made another toffee nut latte at home and ate two mince pies.

The point of this blog though, isn’t to point out my failure, even though it is funny. But rather to point out the realisation I had. I wasn’t struggling this much before the new year. But as SOON as I made it a goal, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. My mind was just consumed with a whirlwind of “stop its bad for you!” to “you only live once!”

The reason I’ve never done new year’s resolutions before was because they never work. You always set the bar too high and then fail and then hate yourself for not being able to obtain the unrealistic goal you set yourself.

As soon as I had that realisation though, I was able to look back and realise that I did get what I want. I did reduce my caffeine, my sugar, my milk and my red meat consumption. I was just framing it wrong and looking at it in the wrong light.

In reality, I’ve tried to be better to myself and I have succeeded regardless of all the “mistakes” I made. And I hope you realise you are trying too.

I do want to end this blog on a different note though. January is stuffed full of pressure to lose weight. To diet. Overall, to treat your body like it doesn’t need food. My piece of advice for you, ignore it all. It is all lies. They just want your money. Skinny teas do not work and you need carbs for energy.